me: hi, can i have a large—
starbucks employee: you mean a venti?
me: can we not do this
January: Selfie Olympics
February: Flappy Bird
lets see how the rest of the year goes
March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio
April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone
Wonder how July is gonna be
i will keep reblogging this each month
This guy wins at life.
Once, I woke up at a sleepover, and my friend looked at me and whispered in horror. “You talk in your sleep.”
So I blinked and stared at her, eyebrow raised, and asked, “Oh, really? What do I say?”
She replied, “You said ‘NO. DO NOT TOUCH THE BOMB. THERE ARE GAY PEOPLE HERE.’”
one time i was on a class trip to nyc and we had several roommates and one of them was asleep
well the rest of us we were talking about this really ceppy teacher named mr. haney and my friend, who was asleep, goes mr. haney is so ugh
then we thought she was awake so we went over there to annoy her so we started poking her and she was like “poke” everytime we poked her it was priceless
welcome to tumblr
"White people be like"
why didnt my parents name me something cool like exodius or blue eyes white dragon